"There's one thing more -- there's just one more thing you better understand. I've taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture, I can even pat myself on the back when necessary, all so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. There's nothing I need from anyone except for love and respect, and anyone who can't give me those two things has no place in my life."

《同性三分亲》是一部很诚恳探讨同性恋家庭问题的电影，男主角Arnold毫无疑问是其中穿针引线式的人物，展现出个体、亲人、朋友、局外人对于同性恋的不同理解。除了片中不同的观点，我最感兴趣的就是Arnold家里无处不在的兔子。

Arnold男友一脸懵逼

Arnold的男友第一次来他家，就被一屋子的兔子餐具搞得一脸懵逼，从茶壶到挂钩再到摆件全是小白兔。

隐藏在角落的兔子

我还在Arnold家里的边边角角发现了兔子，墙上贴的、墙角竖的、门后挂的，可以说Arnold是个狂热的兔子产品迷。片中Arnold的工作是一个变装演员，舞台上表现着浓艳夸张的妆容和污浊浑厚的烟嗓，拼着自己的一点事业。私底下他又是一个很有生活情调的人，将喜欢的兔子形象贯穿到日常生活的方方面面。兔子本身呆萌可爱，也象征着旺盛的繁殖能力，而将这么多“兔子”放在家里，可以想象到这个男主人是个多么古灵精怪又崇尚家庭的人。当Arnold领养了一个孩子后，他儿子因为在学校和人打架，作为“妈妈”这个身份，Arnold甚至连他的兔子拖鞋来不急换，就冲到了学校，紧张儿子受到一丝丝伤害。

Arnold的兔子拖鞋

其实男主角的性格以及小兔子癖好，是受了他的妈妈很大影响。电影里看到他妈妈从床上翻出同款兔子拖鞋，一穿上就很萌，反正我和我妈从来没有过同款的东西，虽然我也有我妈性格的影子。我特别羡慕Arnold能和妈妈分享自己关于同性恋、抚养孩子、亲人关系等方面的情况，他们既有着母子的关系，却也保持着朋友般的谈话，就算彼此无法完全理解，却能够表达个体的独立想法。

Arnold妈妈的兔子拖鞋

而我已经不记得多久没和家里人说说自己的事情了，遇到自己解不了的事情就自个挨着。爸妈给的空间与自由，让我像个栓起来耳朵的兔子，腿好像能动，耳朵上拴着的线却还在爸妈的手上，Arnold过去也是如此。只不过Arnold经过了很长时间与妈妈的沟通，才解开了这个绳索，这中间真的好难也好难得。

能与父母做朋友这件事情真的让我特别羡慕，大家关起来门来能在家分享各自的想法，争执与理解后产生融合，可能会是一个无限循环。

年龄的渐长后的我，越发感觉到了爸妈对于我情感中的高纯度，也许交流不畅，却会更珍视。对于我而言，在尊重父母的基础上，还是要独自去摸索生活的路径。也许未来我能和我的孩子一起唱着“小白兔白又白，两只耳朵竖起来”，一起在未知的世界里成长。

For its sheer audacity, TV stalwart Paul Bogart’s final theatrical movie TORCH SONG TRILOGY is legitimately a landmark in American queer cinema, an unapologetic gay testimony which forthrightly demands respect and equality, and the one who rightfully hogs the limelight is its writer-cum-star Harvey Fierstein.

Adapting his own Tony-winning, long-running, eponymous semi-biographical play onto the silver screen, Fierstein plays Arnold Beckoff, a NYC drag queen whose stage persona is a torch singer, the film spans from 1971 to 1980, before the gay scene are completely altered by the horror of AIDS. The trilogy can be loosely compartmentalized into three chapters, Arnold’s initial relationship with his bisexual love Ed (Kerwin, adroit with his open-faced legibility); his tragically aborted romance with the love of his life Alan (a baby-face Broderick gaily bats for the other team here) and the aftermath, including adopting a gay teenager as his son, re-settles with Ed and an attainment of mutual understanding with his mother (Bancroft).

Fairly basic stuff, both behaviorally and emotionally, offered by the script, Arnold comes off as shy, lovelorn, grouchy (often in the fourth-wall-breaking mode), but most exceptionally, is Fierstein’s own, short-breathed, gravelly voice that simply cannot carry a normal tune, yet, Arnold is a self-purported torch singer, performs his numbers in a rather comical recitative than actual singing, he is well at home in the burlesque scene. However, to live as an out queer person, he cannot tolerate any murky spot on his life, which encumbers his relationship with Ed, whose bisexuality is often dismissed by Arnold as a front to the heteronormative compliance, and he demands the same from his homophobic mother, on his own terms, he wants to be treated as a normal son, he even goes all the way to adopt a teenager so that he can be a father in a traditional way, and he will not meet her in the halfway.

That stance is progressive, not least at that time, repelling the usual guilt-tinged torment of being homosexual, Arnold is blatantly asking something almost impossible from his mother, whose worldview is completely at odds with her son’s, yet, even so, they manage to squeeze some semblance of understanding that can only be germinated by unalloyed mutual love, that is, for my money, what the film really strikes home, and both Fierstein and Bancroft are firing on all cylinders, their confrontation sequences are textbook takeaways of the internecine standoff between a conservative mother and her flamboyant gay son, however antediluvian the prejudice seems to today’s eyes, the essence is nothing if not limpid, acceptance excludes any form of concession, and Fierstein’s astute and acerbic script takes no prisoners.

An acting powerhouse like Bancroft never disappoints, here, shoehorn in a role characterized by her regressive thinking, she nonetheless exhibits a high-wire act to outpour a deluge of mixed bag of frustration, doubt, displeasure, resignation and compassion, with all those gesticulations, she is so fascinating to watch, and her efforts’ resultant emotional impact is impeccably visceral; Fierstein is equally bellicose and uncompromising in fending off the offensive, but also shines in quieter, funnier moments, like the scene where he performs the Jewish ritual to appear immaculate before Ed wakes up in the morning, a bespoke role that is both a blessing and a curse to any thespian. Enough said, if you are a sucker for a bold gay drama with all its messy but souped-up appurtenances, TORCH SONG TRILOGY is just what you doctor ordered.

referential entries: Jennie Livingston’s PARIS IS BURNING (1990, 8.0/10); John Schlesinger’s SUNDAY BLOODY SUNDAY (1971, 7.9/10).

主角阵容还是蛮养眼的，一群大帅锅。艾伦：一个水嫩水嫩的大男孩，艾德：欧美典型的金发帅哥，阿诺德：也是一个美男（个人感觉声音太沙哑了点），大卫：活脱脱的一个小天使。（没看过的到我的个人简介处找资源）

阿诺德是一个变装皇后，电影开头便是阿诺德一边化妆一边对着镜头自言自语，变装皇后是美国同性文化的一部分，但电影并不是关于变装皇后的，仅仅只是男主阿诺德的身份是一位变装皇后。

电影中无论是艾德还是艾伦，都深爱着阿诺德，而阿诺德也爱着两个人，只是像阿诺德说的，艾德和艾伦两个人是不一样的，对他们两个人的爱也是不同的，无法比较，也无需比较。

在艾德离开阿诺德五个月后再次回来找阿诺德的时候，手足无措的憨憨模样让人忍俊不禁，因为他不知道自己真正想要的是什么，从而无法表达清楚。毕竟自己心里一团糊涂，嘴上又怎么可能说的清？

艾德的突然出现同样让阿诺德措不及防，内心挣扎万分，是坐艾德的车一起回去？还是自己偷偷溜走，让他冻死在外面？心里虽然爱着艾德，可又担心被再次伤害，内心左右摇摆，徘徊不定。

我很喜欢史铁生的一段话，“爱却艰难，心魂的敞开甚是危险。他人也许是你的地狱，那儿有心灵的伤疤结成的铠甲，有防御的目光铸成的刀剑，有语言排布的迷宫，有笑靥掩藏的陷阱。在那后面，当然，仍有孤独的心在战栗，仍有未熄的对沟通的渴望。你还是要去吗？不甘就范？那你可要谨慎，以孤胆去赌——他人即天堂，甚至以痛苦去偿你平生的夙愿”

阿诺德是如何抉择的，导演没有告诉我们，因为这样的抉择不取决于他人，而取决于我们自己，赌？还是不赌？

电影拍摄于1988年，那时候对同性恋的歧视不言而喻。当小混混们殴打老人时，路人们纷纷逃窜躲避，艾伦嚷道，赶紧报警。可正如路人说的，那个老人是同性恋，警察是不会管的。

不过最后警察和救护车去了，不是去救人，而是去收尸。看到浑身是血的艾伦时，感觉心跳漏了一拍，正如阿诺德在墓前悼念时与母亲争吵道： “你在干净的医院失去了你的丈夫，而我在肮脏的街道失去了我的爱人。27岁，死在街头，被一群孩子用棒球棒打死。一群怀着和你一样想法的孩子：同性恋的感情不算数，这一切都是他们自找的。”

虽然同性的路途险阻，但我相信犹如诗人里尔克说的，“好好忍耐，不要沮丧，如果春天要来，大地会使它一点一点地完成。”

电影中可以说涵盖了两类典型的gay，一类像艾德，不完全接受自己的身份，认为自己是双，结婚后就和妻子分居，经济独立后就切断了和父母的往来。

一类像阿诺德，认同并接受自己的身份，与母亲据理力争，“有一件事你最好要明白：我可以教会自己缝纫、厨艺和修理家具，我甚至可以在需要的时候自我安慰，所以我不向任何人要求任何事情，我不需要别人给我什么，除了爱和尊重。而任何不能给我这两样东西的人，在我的人生中都无处安放。”

大卫是阿诺德和艾伦收养的孩子，阿诺德很想要个孩子，他跟艾伦写的夫夫条约就强调自己想要个孩子。

他们决定收养孩子时，我还担心孩子的性格会对两人关系造成影响，后来我发现我错了，大卫简直是个小天使，不仅善解人意，还温暖贴心。

当阿诺德的母亲知道大卫的存在后，如导火线般引燃了两人心中深埋着的芥蒂，但所有的争吵，终将归于和平。

电影的最后意味深长，阿诺德将四件东西如珍宝般紧紧地拥入怀中，大卫的帽子、母亲的橘子、艾德的眼镜、艾伦的照片。

你所经历的一切，甜也好，苦也罢，都将成为你人生中的一部分，你要去习惯它，接受它，这是件好事，因为它确保你不会忘记，如一颗颗星辰点缀你的人生。